Deleting a post: solution or over-protection?
If you're a parent worried about your child's digital life, chances are you've already found yourself in the situation of advising them to delete a post that he/she published, but backfired. It might seem like the best solution, but beware of over-protection! Is it really cyberbullying, or just a fight between boys? What could be the consequences of deleting the content on your child, in terms of self-esteem? In this post, we'll explore why recommending cancellation might not be the best solution, and how to teach your kids to handle those situations effectively.
1. Deleting does not always solve the problem
Many times, deleting a post can seem like the best solution to make people forget about an unpleasant situation. However, this solution does not solve the root problem. There is always the possibility that the content is being saved or shared by someone else, and the damage has been done. Teaching your child to handle these situations in a positive and constructive way instead of sweeping the problem under the carpet could provide him with a sense of self-efficacy and self-confidence.
2. Over-protection could be hurting your child's self-esteem
Forcing your child to delete a public post might seem like a protective act, but it could also damage their self-esteem. If your child thinks he can't handle the situation, he may feel helpless and unable to defend himself in the future. It's probably better to teach them how to handle difficult situations than to shield them from every problem, even if that means exposing themselves to a certain amount of stress.
3. Learn to handle the situation
Instead of deleting the post, it's important to teach your child how to handle the situation. For example, you might suggest that they respond respectfully and calmly, trying to clear up the misunderstandings and correct the situation. This will help them develop important mediation and conflict resolution skills, which may also be useful in future situations.
4. Instantaneity versus foresight
While deleting a post may provide immediate relief, it may not be the best choice in terms of foresight. A deleted contentious post can stay in the collective memory for a very long time, and when someone finds it, it could build resentment and anger. Conversely, helping your child deal with the situation can teach them to think ahead, and to consider the consequences of their actions.
5. Self-efficacy for the future
Teaching your children how to handle difficult situations may be one of the most important things you can do for them. Life isn't always easy, and it definitely isn't always fair. Helping your children develop a sense of self-efficacy, and self-confidence, could help them cope better with difficult and stressful situations in other areas of life as well.
Context is the key
Deleting a post might seem like the best solution, but as we've seen, it might not be the best choice in terms of foresight.
Teaching your children how to handle difficult situations on social media could equip them with important mediation and conflict resolution skills, as well as provide them with a sense of self-efficacy and self-confidence.
As parents, it is important to help our children overcome difficulties rather than shielding them from every problem.
As for the posts published by other people other than your child, well it's another story...
As for the posts published by other people other than your child, well it's another story...
So should you suggest your child to delete the post?
As always, it depends on the situation and the circumstances, so balance, empathy and ability to analyze the context are mandatory.
The lines above aren't here to suggest you to delete the post: keep them as points of reflection.